Tuesday 15 September 2015

Out of Left Field - Blindsided

If you are old enough to remember- anything-  then the fact is your old enough to have been blindsided.
We have all been blindsided- at least once but most likely many times throughout life, work, romance, reality.

In my apprenticeship I remember asking the breakfast chefs about the eggs they were cooking. Young and stupid I stepped into their domain and asked question while they worked. The head Breakfast chef was whizzing around the kitchen and filled the morning with information and food for me. Sunyside up , boiled, poached, over easy, over hard, blindside?
Stupidly , I asked . Whats blindside?
WHOOOMP!
That minute remains with me decades later.
The breakfast chefs were a team and they worked me well. Another of the head chefs team was used to their little act when silly little apprentices asked questions when they were busy.
Blindside - was an egg to the back of the head from further down the kitchen- hurts like a bitch and funny to all who watch, not to recipient. Lesson learnt!! Leave the main kitchen breakfast guys alone. I still do!

Anyone who has ever loved, has been blindsided at least once.
Sometimes, blindsiding comes in the form of not knowing until the final second who the romance is toward and being blindsided by love.  Other times it is that we do not see something coming until its too late and taking the shunt of reality at full impact velocity and being blind sided by the truth of infidelity.
Being blindside can be both good and bad.
As Carl Jung stated, "happiness" has little meaning if it can not be measured against "sadness".

As little humans we are often told by our parents to stop believing in make believe, to grow up.
Is that because they want us to, or because they are angry with themselves that they can't.
Reality does after all suck quite hard.

If we grow up and accept reality and stop pretending and dreaming it does not make us wiser or ready for life, because there is alway that one thing , that one person , that one event that blindsides us and turns our world 360 degrees from where it was headed.
Peter pan probably had a life planned for himself of flying between reality and never never land until his old age, but then comes growing up....and "the moment you doubt wether you can fly, you cease to be able to."
Blindsided by reality, Peter Pan must have never seen it coming.
On days I am having a bad life experience , a sad reminiscence or a sorry for myself moment, I try to imagine Peter Pan at the same age as myself and imagine the disappointment he must feel on a daily basis. That longing and tearing at his heart at missing Wendy, the pirates and all the fun in Never Never Land. "So come with me, where dreams are born, and time is never planned. Just think of happy things, and your heart will fly on wings, forever, in Never Never Land!"

Imagine being almost 50 and remembering such a place!
Imagine!
I do everyday!
It was a place called Drake Street, Devonport.
My own Never Never Land, where nothing bad happened............ until it did.
I grew up on Drake Street.
It was heaven.
Perfect houses, perfect people, great neighbors. Kids that were friends and sweethearts, first kisses and play mates. Even in single digits the double digit teens were our friends and taught us to play cricket on the roadway, football and how to ride bikes. They did so in fun and being helpful, never once where they belittling of our youth or cumbersomeness.
We had hiding places on that street, pets, horses, rabbits, dogs, trees to climb, neighbors that would never harm us.

And then my youth was blindsided.
I never knew what decapitate meant until one of our friends was in a motor bike accident- my father hearing it on a private radio monitor he could tune into on his radio.
 I asked the stupid question of what it meant- my childhood ended thereafter- and I could no longer fly. Never Never Land ended that day for me.
That was when I was in single digits.

Now Im half way to triple, and the blindsiding continues.
Thankfully its not always morbid or unhappy though.

As a chef my life is filled with stress. We do it to ourselves. Pushing boundaries and trying to stay relevant in an ever ethereal world, where you are only ever between the last compliment and the next complaint.
As a human my life has been filled with sadness and loss.

For decades I have wanted a cute puppy. I had thought for years it would be help with the stress and the tears. But my mother for years before her death had stated the truth.."who would look after the dog while I worked the 12 hour days.
The thought was there but never realized.
Then in January of this year an OJT who had worked at my current employ posted that she had 8 puppies to sell.
I foolishly thought it might be time.
I never thought for a second who would clean, wash, wipe up after her.
I actually never thought much about the idea until I was told to collect the puppy- a girl- in a park one afternoon when she was old enough to be separated from her mother.

Blindsiding is the word that expresses the art of never seeing something coming until it has hit you.
I was blindsided that day.
From the minute that puppy licked my face we both adored each other.
"Shayne"now mostly referred to as "my daughter" not "my dog", gives a love that everyone should experience once in a  life time.
She follows me around the house, shivers in my arms when getting a bath, haircut or her toe nails cut, bites me softly when she wants to play and bites me hard when she is hungry or mad.
I reprimand her for destroying shoes and tables, for destroying carpets and eating everything she should not, but despite everything she loves me and shows it without fear.
I never saw this coming.
Thoughts of travel on vacations now evolve around where "Shayne" might be able to fly, my future too will be based upon where she can go without question.
She is family after all now- you don't leave kids behind.

Perhaps Peter Pan should have had a dog.
Perhaps if Peter is still alive he could get one now.
It is said, "without love, we are nothing more than birds with broken wings."
This big bird has had his wings repaired and is beginning to find the strength to fly once more, thanks to the love of an unexpected source.
Blindsided, and happy.

Dad and daughter passed out after a hard day at work!!
Thinking about the park she can see from the bed

SHAYNE

My first sports jersey !!

GUILT !!- Im sorry you need to clean up after me.

Does this dress make me look fat ?

Tired!

STOP WRITING ...and play..Im bored

HELP...Im stuck!



















No comments:

Post a Comment