If your eyes are the windows to your soul, then what are your teeth; the barricades to the fun factory.
I have been blessed with great teeth all my life, much in part due to the fluoride in the water in Never Never Land where we grew up, giving us strong healthy teeth, or so my parents said.
Braces were for those with severe dental issues only, too bulky, too sore and too expensive for our teeth back in the seventies Today I see every second person with braces, even those with nice teeth.
Teeth have never been my problem, despite three decades living in the world of sugar, I was trained like a rodent on a wheel to brush twice if not three times a day and although I perhaps have brushed in the wrong direction, my teeth have actually caused me little issue for many decades.
A slip of laziness perhaps in the thirties caused two fillings but they where righted by a dentist supposedly worthy of his credentials.
Seems he held too much trust in my inexperienced eyes and should never have been trusted with my perfect teeth.
The man gave me two fillings and until recently that was enough.
It lasted me all of 5 years.
I some how thought they lasted a life time, but a sore tooth a few weeks back had me worry. A quick trip to the dentist stated that the tooth below the filling was not in good shape due to it being a bad filling.
Part of me wanted to find the old dentist and sue his practice for malpractice.
I was given the option to consider removing said painful tooth or having a root canal.
Both scared the hell out of me.
48 hours later, the issue became more serious as I ate a salad taco.
Soft food- hard bite, took liberties with half a tooth and a lump of silver big enough to make an ingot, falling out in front of me as I tried to chew.
Dinner was done.
Nice taco it was too.
Thankfully a 9 day vacation was to ensue- supposedly taken in Vietnam but actually spent in the dentist chair.
Except not just one dentists chair, but several.
Seems not one dentist actually does the entire job these days.
One looks at your teeth, one cleans them, one repairs, one removes and one cuts and kills.
On day one I visited the "Looker".
He huffed and puffed and did little except to give me two options, remove or drill. In the end he could do neither and so gave me a welcome letter to doctor number two- "the Removalist".
Dentist number two - "Removalist", confirmed the two options.
Remove the whole tooth or root canal.
Which she proceeded to discuss with me while my face was packed full of cotton wool and anesthetic.
Removal meant a small denture - Im way too young and could never be bothered.
Thankfully the tooth in question is a molar so it will never ruin the smile, but it is not allowed to stay an empty space because over years it can cause other issues with other teeth, both top and bottom.
I tried to reason with the "Removalist" that if I were to be killed a day or two from now by theoretically being struck by a car , then what would it matter.
Why drill and spend days in pain and several thousand dollars on a new tooth if life was to soon end anyway. Remove it and let me go along my shortened voyage.
The "Removalist", and her two cohorts did not understand the entire conversation, nor why I was going to be hit by a car, even if only theoretical.
I guess few patients discuss such issues and just hand over cash willingly.
In the end I shut up, because I could not feel my tongue any longer.
She took out the remaining filling, removed the cause of the issue, the "junk" below and drilled only to advise me that the tooth that broke had broken far below the gum line and to do anything further I needed to visit doctor number three- "Doctor Cut and Kill".
You know its serious when you have to visit the dentist in a hospital and be all but "put out to it" as they do their business. Yes indeed this was "Doctor Cut and Kill"- cutting the gum down to the jaw line actually.
By the third syringe full of anesthesia she was describing that it took less medicine to blow dart a rhino, yet I still felt pain!
By syringe number four I was floating and talking to my mother again, who was sitting beside me by now, scowling at my ineptitude at brushing properly.
For the first time ever, I am glad my mother has passed away, for she would have given me absolute hell for having a bad tooth. She loved my teeth and was proud that I had a great smile. She would also have given me hell for having walked the best part of the way home after, floating like an angel high as hell on drugs.
Not that I remember why- I was a little drugged to the teeth literally, but at the time, walking on the expressway seemed quicker than hailing a cab, it was after all around 6pm- traffic was slow that night due to some idiot walking on the Expressway?? Go figure.!
Eventually a good samaritan stopped and bundled me off home, my ice pack strapped to my face unable to talk due to a lazy tongue and half a face that felt missing.
Dribbling and laughing like a crazed hyena its a wonder they did not take me to the asylum instead of to home.
How I remembered my address is beyond me also.
Even when sobre and undrugged it's usually a struggle.
When I woke up I found a pocket full of pills courtesy of the hospital or the good samaritan Im not sure? And a note about what to take and when.
Three pain killers every four hours.
All 24 tablets disappeared in 24 hours.
On day two I realized the note had a side two- which stated drugs not to be taken with alcohol.
Half bottle of Hennesey had already been added to the cost of the procedure and I had little option as all the pain killers had gone on the evening of day one, second half of Hennesy used to numb the pain on day two and bottle itself used to numb the pain on day three by angry wife who found said empty bottle and realized our trip to Vietnam had set sail without us.
So now a week later stitches have ben removed from gum and jaw (not yet from wife and bottle) and a return to root canal work is scheduled for tomorrow. More drugs, hopefully another discussion with mum, and more cash emitted from bank account for sure.
So far several thousand dollars has gone in pain meds, dentist fees, taxis and Hennesy Cognac - but cheaper I guess than the vacation I had planned for us to Vietnam these past nine days.
I could never have eaten my way around the Vietnam that I adore and the crisp bread would have indelibly killed the tooth had it not already fallen out.
The saga does not end tomorrow though, so stay tuned. Even after part two of the root canal tomorrow morning, I have to visit yet another sadist for more pain in 6 weeks time - good luck with that schedule - mid Christmas rush at the hotel.
In reality my teeth have had a blessed life, and thankfully this is the first tooth I have ever had a problem with, so if you are young- always brush your teeth several times a day and never think its a wasted exercise, because decades from now you will thank me for saving you the pain and the cost - and the embarrassment of knowing that you dribbled on an expressway.
Anyway, enough- this Rhino has to get his shots in 6 hours.
Bed time it is.
But if you ever want to take the subject of teeth further, watch an incredible film called "TEETH" (2007) Stars: Jess Weixler, John Hensley, Josh Pais ...
Some great friends of mine (Sean and Paul) watched it in 2007 after glowing remarks from myself and still have not forgiven me for the loss of two hours of their lives, but its a fun flick if you have time to kill, or a face strapped with an ice pack.
Till next time.
bye
I have been blessed with great teeth all my life, much in part due to the fluoride in the water in Never Never Land where we grew up, giving us strong healthy teeth, or so my parents said.
Braces were for those with severe dental issues only, too bulky, too sore and too expensive for our teeth back in the seventies Today I see every second person with braces, even those with nice teeth.
Teeth have never been my problem, despite three decades living in the world of sugar, I was trained like a rodent on a wheel to brush twice if not three times a day and although I perhaps have brushed in the wrong direction, my teeth have actually caused me little issue for many decades.
A slip of laziness perhaps in the thirties caused two fillings but they where righted by a dentist supposedly worthy of his credentials.
Seems he held too much trust in my inexperienced eyes and should never have been trusted with my perfect teeth.
The man gave me two fillings and until recently that was enough.
It lasted me all of 5 years.
I some how thought they lasted a life time, but a sore tooth a few weeks back had me worry. A quick trip to the dentist stated that the tooth below the filling was not in good shape due to it being a bad filling.
Part of me wanted to find the old dentist and sue his practice for malpractice.
I was given the option to consider removing said painful tooth or having a root canal.
Both scared the hell out of me.
48 hours later, the issue became more serious as I ate a salad taco.
Soft food- hard bite, took liberties with half a tooth and a lump of silver big enough to make an ingot, falling out in front of me as I tried to chew.
Dinner was done.
Nice taco it was too.
Thankfully a 9 day vacation was to ensue- supposedly taken in Vietnam but actually spent in the dentist chair.
Except not just one dentists chair, but several.
Seems not one dentist actually does the entire job these days.
One looks at your teeth, one cleans them, one repairs, one removes and one cuts and kills.
On day one I visited the "Looker".
He huffed and puffed and did little except to give me two options, remove or drill. In the end he could do neither and so gave me a welcome letter to doctor number two- "the Removalist".
Dentist number two - "Removalist", confirmed the two options.
Remove the whole tooth or root canal.
Which she proceeded to discuss with me while my face was packed full of cotton wool and anesthetic.
Removal meant a small denture - Im way too young and could never be bothered.
Thankfully the tooth in question is a molar so it will never ruin the smile, but it is not allowed to stay an empty space because over years it can cause other issues with other teeth, both top and bottom.
I tried to reason with the "Removalist" that if I were to be killed a day or two from now by theoretically being struck by a car , then what would it matter.
Why drill and spend days in pain and several thousand dollars on a new tooth if life was to soon end anyway. Remove it and let me go along my shortened voyage.
The "Removalist", and her two cohorts did not understand the entire conversation, nor why I was going to be hit by a car, even if only theoretical.
I guess few patients discuss such issues and just hand over cash willingly.
In the end I shut up, because I could not feel my tongue any longer.
She took out the remaining filling, removed the cause of the issue, the "junk" below and drilled only to advise me that the tooth that broke had broken far below the gum line and to do anything further I needed to visit doctor number three- "Doctor Cut and Kill".
You know its serious when you have to visit the dentist in a hospital and be all but "put out to it" as they do their business. Yes indeed this was "Doctor Cut and Kill"- cutting the gum down to the jaw line actually.
By the third syringe full of anesthesia she was describing that it took less medicine to blow dart a rhino, yet I still felt pain!
By syringe number four I was floating and talking to my mother again, who was sitting beside me by now, scowling at my ineptitude at brushing properly.
For the first time ever, I am glad my mother has passed away, for she would have given me absolute hell for having a bad tooth. She loved my teeth and was proud that I had a great smile. She would also have given me hell for having walked the best part of the way home after, floating like an angel high as hell on drugs.
Not that I remember why- I was a little drugged to the teeth literally, but at the time, walking on the expressway seemed quicker than hailing a cab, it was after all around 6pm- traffic was slow that night due to some idiot walking on the Expressway?? Go figure.!
Eventually a good samaritan stopped and bundled me off home, my ice pack strapped to my face unable to talk due to a lazy tongue and half a face that felt missing.
Dribbling and laughing like a crazed hyena its a wonder they did not take me to the asylum instead of to home.
How I remembered my address is beyond me also.
Even when sobre and undrugged it's usually a struggle.
When I woke up I found a pocket full of pills courtesy of the hospital or the good samaritan Im not sure? And a note about what to take and when.
Three pain killers every four hours.
All 24 tablets disappeared in 24 hours.
On day two I realized the note had a side two- which stated drugs not to be taken with alcohol.
Half bottle of Hennesey had already been added to the cost of the procedure and I had little option as all the pain killers had gone on the evening of day one, second half of Hennesy used to numb the pain on day two and bottle itself used to numb the pain on day three by angry wife who found said empty bottle and realized our trip to Vietnam had set sail without us.
So now a week later stitches have ben removed from gum and jaw (not yet from wife and bottle) and a return to root canal work is scheduled for tomorrow. More drugs, hopefully another discussion with mum, and more cash emitted from bank account for sure.
So far several thousand dollars has gone in pain meds, dentist fees, taxis and Hennesy Cognac - but cheaper I guess than the vacation I had planned for us to Vietnam these past nine days.
I could never have eaten my way around the Vietnam that I adore and the crisp bread would have indelibly killed the tooth had it not already fallen out.
The saga does not end tomorrow though, so stay tuned. Even after part two of the root canal tomorrow morning, I have to visit yet another sadist for more pain in 6 weeks time - good luck with that schedule - mid Christmas rush at the hotel.
In reality my teeth have had a blessed life, and thankfully this is the first tooth I have ever had a problem with, so if you are young- always brush your teeth several times a day and never think its a wasted exercise, because decades from now you will thank me for saving you the pain and the cost - and the embarrassment of knowing that you dribbled on an expressway.
Anyway, enough- this Rhino has to get his shots in 6 hours.
Bed time it is.
But if you ever want to take the subject of teeth further, watch an incredible film called "TEETH" (2007) Stars: Jess Weixler, John Hensley, Josh Pais ...
Some great friends of mine (Sean and Paul) watched it in 2007 after glowing remarks from myself and still have not forgiven me for the loss of two hours of their lives, but its a fun flick if you have time to kill, or a face strapped with an ice pack.
Till next time.
bye
 |
| if you don't like the movie, please do not blame me, I just watched it, I did not make it. :) |
No comments:
Post a Comment